Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
