I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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