what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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