SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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