i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
