better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
