butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
