You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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