I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
