great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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