Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
