you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
COCAINE IS GR8
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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