Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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