They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
