Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
