it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
