do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
