This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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