just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
