when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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