I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
