You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
