I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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