Your face is a jimmy john
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
