Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
