I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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