Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
