I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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