i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
