I will die if light touches me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
