If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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