Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
