I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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