yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
