Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
