Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
