the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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