its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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