Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Two words: nipple clamps
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