Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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