I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My balls are so social today.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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