Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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