super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
