I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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