that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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