...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
