Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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