What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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