do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
