mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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