absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
