in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
