I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
