That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
