it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
